"Come with me, my love, to the sea of love"

Miss Koshka
Aisyah, 21, thinks that life is too short.
I don't believe in love, cause it makes people blind and crazy. I believe in Allah, & all the great things He has done. Want to know who's the perfect role model for a hijabi? Not me.
p/s click "life as it is" for archives.
p/p/s I'm a cat at night.

"Does your name rhyme with mine?"

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“Life as it is”
September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 April 2012 May 2012 June 2012 July 2012 August 2012 September 2012 October 2012 November 2012 December 2012 January 2013 February 2013 March 2013 April 2013 May 2013 June 2013 July 2013 September 2013 October 2013 December 2013

2. How have you changed in the past 2 years?
Wednesday, June 29, 2011 || 10:00 PM

Appearance

^ Old pictures. I lazy find so many. I used to cut my hair all the time. From long blondish 'minah'/'ah lian' to Idk what already. The shortest is the one with my cat (bottom right). I had a lot of pimples thanks to NDP, and I became so tanned. Not dark or sunburnt, but TANNED to the max. It's like, bronze. Then became darker, haiyo. I think I gained a lot of weight, maybe cs I was too happy with Hari :) Mmm what else...

Okay nevermind. This is me now :) So pretty hahahahahahahaahahahahha
too much la the laughter. Still not pretty lah, still fat and ugly lah.
But I'm so much happier this way. Not much pimples already, I mean, not as much as before. Last time one v depressing I tell you. Now more, erm, tolerable. 

Tolerable makes me think of Toblerone. Yummy.

 ^ Not much pimples right? I think I'm going to make my 20's wonderful. I've started to eat healthy (kind of, sort of) and have started exercising more. So I'm going to make my 20's fabulous :)
*Fingers crossed and pussy hair braided!*

Personal

I sheesha-ed a lot last time, now not as much. Used to sheesha 3-4 times every week, but now it's like, once in 2 months? So bloody proud of myself. Actually I quit sheesha for a while, but then I started again Idk how. But aimami I've _ more than last time )': I swear I won't _ when I'm done with attachment. It's just v tiring to work 2 jobs - 1 FT and 1 PT. Very tiring. If only I were married and get massages every time I say, "I'm tired". How nice :)

I'm more certain in life :) Not gonna say much here. Secret 
I've gotten my Class 2B. Had 1 minor accident and 1 major accident (major enough for me). Took 2A also, if y'all wanna know, but failed TP once cause I was lazy. And had a few more practices and decided, nah, not going to continue cause I'm a lady and I've begun to prioritise the important things in life. Having bigger bike is not part of it. Fabulous 20, remember? I'm still keeping my bike Baby Aarav.
I can't wait to take car!

I've kind of started healthy loving. Kind of? Because it's an on-off thing. I just need more help :)
Diet: No more white bread for me. Am gonna eat more brown rice. Avoiding French Fries :)
I've started drinking coffee ice-blended drinks, and tea lattes! Still no to black coffee and cafe latte.
I can pop 'em pills already! Last time only syrup, but turning 20 makes me feel so adult! Hence the coffee & pills.

I want to be skinnier 

Relationships

Hari  Last time I and Hari liked to roll around. Now we relax, call each other best friend but we still love each other. But we cannot be in a relationship lah, this way is easier. I feel better being alone, but y'know, deep down, I can't wait to get married :B

Relationship with friends also better :)
I joined Apitos, and now I'm out. Within this 2 years. Best decision I've ever made. No questions asked. :)

Relationship with Allah and Islam? I won't be noisy and say, "I have a relationship with Allah" or "He's in my mind all the time". Let me just say, I fear him more and more (: I'm embracing the religion, while maintaining my personality. I'm still me, but I'm definitely more aware.

I think that's all. Goodnight, muah muah!

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1. the meaning behind my tumblr/blog name
Tuesday, June 28, 2011 || 2:57 PM

MISS KOSHKA
Miss cause I'm a lady,
Koshka cause it's 'cat' in russian. Saw this word in a cat book ;)

I love cats, hence the Miss Koshka :)

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30-day-challenge
|| 9:01 AM


I'm going to do this, for fun :) So that I'll update here more often, and you don't have to come here and see my beautiful face only! (see below) hahaha!

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life, why so serious?
Sunday, June 26, 2011 || 11:46 AM



Hi. My life has always been the same. I feel so adult, with all the working and whatnot :/
To be very very very honest with you,
- sometimes I feel like going uni at NZ, sometimes I don't.
- sometimes I want to get married young, sometimes I don't.
- sometimes I miss Hari, sometimes I don't care.
- sometimes I say Hari's my best friend, all the time I've never said he's my boyfriend. 
- sometimes I feel like leaving the world cs I'm tired, sometimes I feel like I want to live to old age & be happy

But all the time, I feel like I'm living just for the sake of living.
Living the life? Nah.
Just can't wait to graduate :)

Hari always say I look like small girl 

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Thursday, June 23, 2011 || 11:37 PM


Oh hi :>

Listening to blog song:
First time 
After hours and hours and hours 
At the end of the day 
The next day 


Story of my life! I like this song.

1. Just now my mom and I cried after talking about something. She said it's cs we're women, "hati perempuan" Of course I won't blog about the problem lah, but we'll see, we'll see.
THIS TOO SHALL PASS. My favourite quote remember?

2. Hari didn't text me in the afternoon & evening! Today we exchanged less than 5 texts. Okay lah, I'm not in the mood to text today. Just type type type. But I hope he's alright! Eh he's my pearl okay, he's my precious :) I don't love him like a boyfriend already. Mom is worried already! :O Aiya anything can happen lah. Feelings can fade. Relax can choy-ah.

3. I've reached 10,000 tweets on twitter! I will forever love twitter. Even after getting married with kids. Even wilder I think. Share sex stories with y'all. Hehe won't lah, between me and my golek-golek rock&roll partner only ;)

4. This sat I'm meeting Syikin and some others. Tomorrow is my work audit. Tomorrow I am working 8-5 at AVA and 7-2 at Coffeebean. Confirm chop will smoke. Oh, reminder to self: text manager that I'm taking the transport home.

5. I'm in the mood to blog blog and blog. But I need to sleep. Goodnight!

Okay lah, one more picture of handsome.

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nursery rhymes,
|| 10:51 AM

Ah, good ah.

Colleague: Why are there beetles here?
Me: People? I think they're late.
Colleague: Oh dead? But it's just attracting fungus.
Me (in my head): I have to tweet/blog about this. Why are we both deaf?!

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Tuesday, June 21, 2011 || 8:39 PM

I cannot take it. I'm kinda tired, and I don't have enough sleep. And I'm in the ungrateful mood - not grateful for this body and looks. I haven't been eating much and yes.... the whole 'fat & ugly' thing isn't erased completely.
I'm going to get myself that Marlboro Ice Mint (?) for the week.

Actually right, I can't complain leh. I choose this. and so funny, the IQuit advertisement on TV now. Oh man.

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Sunday, June 19, 2011 || 11:15 PM

I've edited some posts, poof no pictures :)
I am a happy girl now. Shall change blogskin too!

edit 12.02am:
CHANGED, AND FRIGGING LOVE THIS BLOGSKIN. EDITED UNTIL BECOME SO CATWOMAN.
Meows and purrs. love you misskoshka.bs! hehe

xx Goodnight everybody!

To-do list: eat less + exercise more to lose weight. take care of lips. prevent pimples as much as possible.

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my dad.
|| 10:51 PM

so many pictures on my blog. I don't like leh actually. but this one, not just any picture!!!


Happy Father's Day to the man who .....
aiya so many things to describe this man and the things he has done!!!

He's my dad. :)

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985
|| 12:24 AM


If you don't love me I don't know what to say...
haha ;)

peggy sue.
Friday, June 17, 2011 || 2:09 PM

My hair is now red.
Man Down in on repeat.
Left ~ 2 months of attachment
K and I finally talked hehe
J and I watched Mr Bean, and she's so noisy explaining to me everything that Mr Bean did. I mean, wtf?
Today's Friday.

<3

Clara
Tuesday, June 14, 2011 || 10:46 PM




you're beautiful.
Monday, June 13, 2011 || 10:45 PM

My blog so many pictures! It's kinda irritating :( But nevermind, this is a no-picture post.
Recently I've been kinda down and emo, and it's all cause of...


my period. I am so blaming my period and hormones, really!

People call me fat & ugly until I'm so damn fucking affected, that I started to starve and cry.
Okay, starve and cry macam budak bodoh right? Ya lor, that's me :/ For few days I nv eat. I think eat some vege only (but still drink soft drinks haha) But then on Sat I got my period, then I was like, "NO WONDER PERANGAI AKU MACAM @##$%&*!"
Ish so hard to be a girl! But my girlfriends, Hari, & my mom made it clear - I'm neither, and I should love myself more!

So here it is. A bit no shame, but I'mma say this to make myself feel better :)

"The only reason why they call you fat is because they are jealous of the curves that you have. They can never get these curves because they are simply fat - their appearance and their personality-wise (i.e ugly). The only reason why they call you ugly is because they are jealous of your nicely-shaped eyebrows and your thick luscious lips. You also have a nice smile, and you are THAT confident to even leave the house without any make-up on AT ALL. They are all just jealous cs you have someone who loves you since Day 1, and maybe till forever."

Sumpah no shame :/ You don't have to agree -.- But I told Hari about this and this made him happy cs he was sad to see me all depressed and all. But seriously, don't call anybody Ugly or Fat okay, cs it's just mean. 

If you think you fat, go and fking hell EXERCISE or diet, whatev. If you think you ugly, go take care of yourself more. As long as you're doing it right and you love yourself, nothing else matters :>

p/s Hi girls having their period. Suddenly everything's so annoying right? I KNOW!!!! Hang in there. Stay beautiful! :)

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just friends.
|| 10:24 PM

Hi! Today was awesome.


I love that boy. And it's even awesomer that we don't have to prove it by holding hands, kissing, sharing intimate moments etc. Just appreciating each other's presence, more than enough :)

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Saturday, June 11, 2011 || 2:19 AM

I'm feeling so damn fucked up right now I can't even..
Nevermind,

I'm just a girl.

Friday, June 10, 2011 || 12:27 AM

I'm in a loveydovey mood now, so I think there's a need for me to blog. But oh man, look at the time, it's 12.23am!!! I have to wake up at 6am!

I had a lovely dinner w Danya and my lovely girl Amanda, at Gayatri Restraurant @ Race Course Road. Then a nice talk w Amanda at Starbucks. :) Must go out more with this girl. Everytime go out w her for a while only! But don't worry, we are gonna watch movie soon. Either that or DVD marathon like last time. But no food this time round, cs I might fall asleep! Hahhaa

I miss Hari. Hari used to be with me all the time last time. Even at night. He's the best friend I wish you all have too, so that all of you, yes ALL OF YOU, will always be smiling and life's more worth it like that :)
He's just too amazing, I can't deny. I'm not a fan of status no more - he's not my boyfriend. Just wanna make it clear hehe

But yes, I miss you lots :>

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cs im bored.
Thursday, June 9, 2011 || 3:49 PM


Read more »

you're so beautiful.
|| 10:53 AM


I wish I was beautiful.
And no, this is not a cry for help zzzz
I'm just saying. But really, Hari & my mom make me feel so beautiful already, that's enough.

But sometimes I do wish that I was beautiful. Like ^the above beautiful.

one more time
Wednesday, June 8, 2011 || 5:28 PM


HAHAHAH so self-obsessed I wanna make out with myself.
Now my pimples are mostly gone, left w scars. Should totally try Shiseido White Lucent eh?

I'm on MC on a Wednesday, how awesome! Means it's a day closer to Friday, a day without AVA, a day full of lying down-s and eating! How to lose weight like that? Oh can, I skipped lunch and only had breakfast! But fattening fattening (half of) Nasi Lemak zzz

Been working like crazy on Monday and Tuesday, 8am to 12am, and sleeping for only 3-4 hours. Could totally sense the "Overlimit!!!!" warning for my body, so decided to take MC and have my rest.

Can't wait for my long weekend. Friday to Monday. Ah life.

Ti amo ti amoooo. wanna love you, be with you!
Thursday, June 2, 2011 || 1:41 PM


Which means that I only have ~2 more months and internship is over!
Then a full month to chiong my MP report, and ta-dah, I'm out the freaking TP
How not to be excited? Oh I know - It's only June, not even August yet - relax and chill.

I love June cause it's such a beautiful name for a month! It's like.... June!
Thanks to internship I'm not excited that it's supposedly a 'holiday' season.
It's gonna be the same for me! 8 - 5.30am at AVA, and part-time job at Coffeebean. Almost every Friday get to see Hari, and once in a while see my friends especially Syikin. Anything else?

Oh, my kitchen + toilets renovation to be completed by June. Finally.
And now's the best time to diet + save money + idk what else.
Cause no food at home, and I am trying to lose weight. But of course....

Story of my life =

conceptofdreaming:

BIGGEST GPOY IN THE WORLD
(Click to enlarge)

and
Expectations:

Reality:



But am I like, a little too old for this shit "I'm fat!!"? We'll see. ;)

If only there's something productive for me to do during lunchtime. I'm so bored, and this entry is pretty long.
Okay lah, bye. Oh, and a reminder:

The best relationships usually begin unexpectedly.
Leggo!

Current favourite song!