"Come with me, my love, to the sea of love"

Miss Koshka
Aisyah, 21, thinks that life is too short.
I don't believe in love, cause it makes people blind and crazy. I believe in Allah, & all the great things He has done. Want to know who's the perfect role model for a hijabi? Not me.
p/s click "life as it is" for archives.
p/p/s I'm a cat at night.

"Does your name rhyme with mine?"

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“Life as it is”
September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 April 2012 May 2012 June 2012 July 2012 August 2012 September 2012 October 2012 November 2012 December 2012 January 2013 February 2013 March 2013 April 2013 May 2013 June 2013 July 2013 September 2013 October 2013 December 2013

Friday, April 30, 2010 || 11:43 AM

You think I'd give a crap, whether she was thin last time, and whether she's so much fatter now or whatever?

I miss the everyday - HAHAHA HARINDRA
|| 12:31 AM

I just got this weird obsession with beds. You should know this by now.
I feel so good now. I went jogging with Harindra after so long, and I feel goooood. Though it was just a short run, I think it's a good start. We joked so much, and it's really tiring to jog when you're laughing!

Tomorrow(Today) is Friday. I can't wait!
The only thing I don't like about Friday? It's going to be the whole cycle again. Monday Tuesday Wednesday yawns
Oh, well... TGIF!

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all the single ladies, all the single ladies, now put your hands up! the glee version was oh so adorable, because it was the football guys dancing to it! i'm so random, i mean like, i know right!
Thursday, April 29, 2010 || 12:58 AM

  1. Harindra loves this song, so hey this is for you!
  2. I made him a happy man today.
  3. I wish I had a driving license. Raining almost every day.
  4. School's at 9am tomorrow. Yay.

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Tuesday, April 27, 2010 || 11:15 PM

Fuck shit, Bully H Bully H Bully H, enough already sia. Fucking shit sia suck cock and suck boobs urgh
Ya, I'm going to delete this post when I feel a tad happier. but for now, URGH I WANT TO KILL MYSELF CAUSE I'M SO STUPID

selamat malam. I love thick bedsheets, white ones. eh can get turned on by it okay! okay goodnight!
Monday, April 26, 2010 || 3:24 AM

This is just a random post, and it's absolutely unimportant :) It's just what I want to do in the future. No big deal, hehe.

I did have thoughts of quitting school, because I find it so tiring to be a studying-robot, and my grades are not excellent. But y'know, doing that will just make me an impulsive failure. Everyone around me is experiencing the same thing, because that's the way Singaporeans are just are. We are not really that bright, it's just the matter whether or not you are hardworking enough to memorise all the craps that you'd probably not going to remember, say, the day after your exams. What, those with GPA 4.0 are all smartypants? Yeah, I guess the word 'clever' is indeed very subjective, but the words 'smart' and 'hardworking', such a contrast :) I kind of sound defensive? But I really find it so tiring to study so much. And from what I've observed, it's not that hard getting into a uni for 'A' levels students, no matter how bad their results are!! How unfair. Okay what's my main focus of this blabberings? My what-to-do-in-the-future-if-i-even-have-a-future.

Dropping out might not be the best option, but I was thinking, di sebalik the bad grades and the almost giving-up, ada hikmahnya. Allah is great. My SIP/MP is not going to be in-house, and it's gonna be done right after 3.2, and BPharm is next semester, which means that the remaining 3 subjects can be done by the end of 3.2! The Almighty has made my life so much easier, and I'm sure he's happy that I'm still going strong. I know I know, it's nothing big, it's just a small challenge that God has given me, that's all.

I was thinking: quit school, work as animal trainer, anywhere just to get the experience and joy, and not just think of it as a 'job'. Working with animals have always been my dream (ok fake, I wanted to be an accountant last time, but I realised that it's just gonna be about work work work and no fun. I also wanted to be in the arts, but I think nah, superficial happiness) Come on, do you really want to to earn money without a smile on your face? _|_ haha! I want to work at Singapore Zoo, I want to work at Night Safari, I want to work at adoption centres, I want to work at neighbouring countries, Idk where else I want to work at, hahah! I just want to be happy.

I do have doubts, whether or not I want to further my education. Contradicting like fuck -_- See whether my grades can make it or not lah.

You know why I'm doubting or not? This is silly lah, but I just want to stay alone for a while away from evverryyboodyy (study at overseas, lol that's what I'm trying to say. And I expect my loved ones to surprise me and visit me!) (of course not away from Hari cause by then we'd get married hahahah) and I want to sleep in a bed with thicckkk bedsheets, looking out at the window with a sad face (cause I miss my family so fucking much) and looking at unfamiliar surroundings. I just want to get the picture right, that's all.

Oh, and I think it's such a stupid ___________. One of the practicals I had was like, 4 happy smiling rabbits that got euthanised (if you don't know, Idk what to say. haha! Inject for the poor thing to die, die you poor little thing, die cause we are evil like that) JUST SO THAT WE FUCKING HUMANS CAN LEARN THE WAYS TO CUT THEIR BODIES UP, SO WE CAN SEE WHAT THE INSIDES LOOK LIKE. I know why we have to learn this, and the importance of this, but no way I'm going to do all that. It's just too sick for me. The importance of it, well, I'll never let anyone touch my dead pets, no matter how mysterious their death can be. Let them rest in peace, and don't question God's actions. You want to act smart now ahhhhhh! No offence, Dr. Jomer, you're different cause you're a cool teacher.

Whoever thinks that cutting up animal is fun, eeeeeee go fuck yourself. or I'd shove a cucumber up your asssssssss then put it into your mouth. And don't eat shark fin soup, please.

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the biggest fear in life. can't run away, can't escape. all I can do is to stop, breathe in, and take a break. tell myself that nothing's gonna happen, and I should just smile and be happy, cause I deserve it :)
Sunday, April 25, 2010 || 12:58 AM

if only everything's just easier

School's fine. It was lecture week, so it wasn't that bad. Next week onwards, I hope things are gonna rock!
23rd April was niece Natra Arianna's 2nd Birthday, and we celebrated it today. The cake's lovely.
Manchester United won Spurs 3-1! Amazin'
Not too sure whether the plan to JB tomorrow is on.
I haven't printed out any lecture notes yet, and I know I'll regret it soon.
The Grape Ice Mint sheesha on Friday was gooooood.
I'll post the pictures taken during the party when my phone's back with me.

Goodnight, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite!

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because you love me
|| 12:37 AM

You know, sometimes words are just not enough.
Alhamdulillah... that's all I can say.
< 3

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what I did what you should know why it's important and why i think you rock
Wednesday, April 21, 2010 || 12:38 PM

1. Hep B + Tetanus vaccination that costs $70. Supposedly $80-$90, but the doctor gave us a discount of $10. :)

2. Wanted to go to polyclinic, but mom hates waiting, so she told me to just go to the private clinic even though it's much much more expensive. I hate waiting too.

3. Collected my specs, so cheap, only $75! But the degree's too high for me, so I'm just going to use it if I sit at the back of the class.

4. Bought two tops from the market (those market flea outside shops, haha), $8 each!! Very pretty, I loike.

5. I hate the word 'loike'.

6. Bought a nail polish two days back, $4.90, colour chosen by Harindra. I love it.


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Monday, April 19, 2010 || 1:15 AM

I enjoyed myself today. BBQ. First day of school tomorrow. I love you all xoxo

I'm more than whaaaat you gavvveeee to meeee Listen is like so damn good I wish I could sing ): ): ): Gonna listen to Halo, then I'm switching offff the comp xoxo
Sunday, April 18, 2010 || 3:05 AM


I mean, who doesn't? Omg this is picture perfect. Perfect. P e r f e c t
Go on, read my Plurks. At the end of the day, I'm a happy girl, and I'm awesome. I have Harindra, and I have my awesome family. Thank you Allah :)

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i'm in miami bitch.
Friday, April 16, 2010 || 6:45 PM


cause we are awesome, and we are turning 2 soon
and we don't need to show you how much we love each other
cause you're not us, so you won't understand
He's my best boy friend, my best friend forever, my girlfriend and he looks a lil' like me
Or I look like him... whatever
we do all the crazy things together and we talk non-stop
we make each other happy, and we avoid arguments
Most importantly, we don't need to tell the whole world every single thing that we've done
because love is about the happiness
and I'm fucking happy

DW' Family, in your face.

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Renee, Felix, Junior, Puma and Monza. Loves of my life.
|| 6:33 PM

forever. and ever. xoxo (': my little babies are going to be alright...

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i'm freaking out. grrrrrr
|| 4:53 AM

I was so eager to sleep just now. Hmm I don't know why, maybe cause IT'S 4.32AM NOW!? But you know what, I'm such a confused child, and it all started the moment I logged in my TP student portal to check my new time-table. I wanted to use the term 'check out' but it sounded cool for such a lame ass time-table that I got. It's too late for me to realise how lost I am. I'm retaking 2 modules, and if I fail any one of them, I might be kicked out of TP, which is a big deal (just not THAT hugeass deal like what those typical highly-educated Chinese family think) I'm not being racist, but come on, let's talk some sense here, shall we?

Anyway, what's more important now is that I'll be a loner surrounded with enthusiastic classmates that are this close *show you 1mm between index finger and thumb* to graduation. If Daryl was beside me just now, I think he'd ask me to shut up haha! Oh, and why a loner? Because there's no

What am I gonna doooooooooooo? I want to cry now but you know, I'm really really happy that I can still see Amanda during MGEN and ACM. That's the very least I ask for. Seriously, I don't wanna be stuck with K2 cause they are too smart and I feel so damn stupid. I'm still not used to poly system, mothafcuk' yikes. No Syikin, but I'm sure she'll be at ITAS once in a while, and I can meet her anytime I want to. No Harindra? No Harindra? No Harindra? Yeah you get it. I'm going to shoot myself. Haha

Syikin's chatting with me now, telling me that Nelly Furtado's hot and stuff, but I can't focus. I'm so freaked out about school, and I don't know why I'm THIS freaked out?

Oh, and I'm officially going to hate Mondays and Tuesday. Fuck Monday Blues? Well then, screw you. I have the whole day of school without any single break. And on Thursday, I'm going to have a long break. 3 hours long. If Amanda's not going to be free, then I'll sleep, or do something productive. No, no sleeping time for me. I won't let my 2.1 history repeat itself. Yes people, 2.1 I would skip ALL lectures to sleep in the library, and that lifestyle was awesome hahahaha gomgzz no.

Have to buy notebooks and nice files and nice stationeries and, erm, whatever else that will make me a happy girl on the first day of school.

btw I love Felix, Monza, Junior, Renee, Puma.

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Thursday, April 15, 2010 || 3:21 PM

oh my God. he's the best person in the world, ever! :D

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Wednesday, April 14, 2010 || 11:28 AM

I found 2 amazing websites for holga, lomo and polaroid cameras. I shall wait until 5th May (Daiso pay!) and I shall get myself one.
Yesterday evening was so horrible. And it's regarding my cats. Tsk I have no right to screen-named myself Miss Koshka. Wtf.

masin-masin? HAHAh remember this Hari? Welcome to ramen ten, masin-masin HAHA
Tuesday, April 13, 2010 || 12:54 AM


Yes, so on April 10th, Harindra and I went to Ramen Ten Century Square because yours truly had a huge craving for sushi. Kak Jannah and Fitri couldn't make it, but thankfully Harindra could, so yes, sushi time! 

Here's some random pictures. Please don't mind the quality of these pictures - handphone's -_- but hey, I had loads of fun with this guy! Always making me laugh! Oh, and I wore this super high heels, prolly the highest I have, and I was practically tip-toeing. It's gorgeous though, so I'm not complaining, hehe. And I also told Harindra how weird some girls are when they wear heels. It's like, so s-t-i-c-k and they walk, erm, weirdly! Like, something stuck in the asshole, ahahahah! So like, I was telling him that it's all in the way you walk. You gotta know how to "swing" your butt and seriously, just walk confidently, and everything will look fine. But I needed to hold Harindra's shoulder, just in case, haha.

What kind of sushi until can look like this!! haha

I need to bloody hell lose weight, HAHAHA my legs look super weird in this picture! Whatever, being skinny doesn't determine your happiness, anyway. Haha no offence ~


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Monday, April 12, 2010 || 2:22 AM

Imma dye & highlight my hair again. Maybe. Nothing bright, just dark maroonish kinda colour. Yes?

i loovvveeeeee bedsheets idk why i love it so much, and looking at fresh thick bedsheets can turn me on. Oh with slight windyish curtainish and puffffy pillows wah i love bedsheets haha
|| 1:59 AM

Have been at weheartit looking at pictures tagged 'vacations' and these are what I got attracted to. I know I'm damn babi lah, attracted to beds or simply said just the accomodation part, haha! Cause I think a good vacation is not just going out and party and to the beaches or whatever, but it's so so important to have a nice place to stay at. Especially if you go with the ones you love, of course ah, omg I in my super-perangai/berangan mood now!

Sadly, it's the last week of holidays left, and then it's back to school. Urgh it's okay, Allah has planned something great for me, I can sense it! ;)
Harindra's last day of work is April 20th (a day after school reopens) so I'm going to make sure the time spent together would be awesome, as always. But school's going to be different without my babygirls and babyboy. Pfft I gotta liveeeeee with it ftw cause I'm a punk rocker with flowers in my hair

btw have gotten lotsa stupid idk-what-insect bites, and my legs so uglay now, so long pants, ftw haga ftw i'm amused

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My comment on loveandlifeinpictures.blogspot.com WAS VERY HONEST ANSWERING THIS. Don't judge me, haha
|| 1:14 AM

AISYAH! said...
Once a cheater, always a cheater?

The trust might be gone for a while, but if you can actually feel his love during the relationship, if he treats you right and make you feel extra special (and by this, i'm not JUST referring to sweet talks & cheesy stuff. I'm talking about the real substance - LOVE), then no, I guess not. He might have his reasons, whatever it is, I strongly believe once a cheater is NOT always a cheater :) IF HE'S WHAT I DESCRIBED ABOVE hehe

Is a kiss cheating?

Cheeks? no. Lips, yes I think it's cheating.

Second/third/fourth chances?

Not that manyyyy chances! The guy will so definitely take advantage of you. Second chance is okay, but I think once history repeats itself, show him who is more powerful :)

Would you tell your partner if you cheated - would you want them to tell you?

Yes cause honesty is the best policy, cliche as it seems. Even if the cheating's for a while, and you think like, "nah it ended anyways so let's just not bother" think again cause you're wrong. I know some of my friends hid things from their partners cause they wanna avoid arguments and stuff, but hey, I just think that's not the right attitude. Hmm gotta face the music, I guess? =/

& the hearts all over the world tonighttttt
bye! xoxo

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who wants to be a millionaire? I won the million bucks, and I cheated by finding the answers online. ftw hahaha whateverr
Sunday, April 11, 2010 || 4:08 PM

I totally forgot to blog about this: I played Who Wants To Be A Millionaire on facebook yesterday, and I've learnt a few things.

 Story of my life, hehehe
Oh, and I love going to weddings. Just went to one just now ;)

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baby it's truuuueee i can't live without you. Whatev, two is better than one. HAHAHA random, but when I first heard this song, I was like wtf threesome? or have 2 partners is better than just to love one? HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME TAYLOORRRRR!? Then I was like, ok whatever
|| 3:53 AM

Tomorrow might be the big day. I got to be strong, I have to!

(This paragraph is so, wow, wordy and blahblahblah!)
ANYWAY these past few days have been awesome. I've been a good daughter (Occasionally I'll mop the house, and sometimes, I'd vacuum the house too!) Somehow, I just love mopping so much, like I can mop the house on a daily basis, yikes! Oh, I've also been a good cousin, and I had fun with my little ones - Husna and Haziq. Haziq slept over last night, and he just looovveeee hugging me. He's 7 this year, and I guess the whole hugging and lying-on-top-of-me have to stop real soon, otherwise it'd just be odd, haha thoughtssss. So yes, pretty much proud of myself for rejecting two sheesha offers from friends for my family, and myself. Saying no to sheesha? I'm awesome like that. Oh, and I went to JB with my mom and elder brother Iwan that day, and I nearly lost our passports!! I was the only one carrying a bag, and hence the passports were with me. And me being me, I just stood up and walked straight to Dunkin Donuts with my mom, totally forgot about the bag. Tsk I know it's insane but instead of thinking of passports, I was thinking of 2 things. Phone and Harindra. A lil' cuckoo there, huh? But I had donuts, so I was a happy girl~

Went to have sushi with Harindra just now, and pictures will be upload soon, prolly tomorrow. Just now was awesome, and I can't wait to date again. Oh and if you read this blog, let me tell you a lame secret:

Harindra and I are in a relationship lah. The whole 'best friends' thing is because, well, we ARE in fact bestest of friends (I'll admit it, he's pretty much my best girl friend too!!) but people always thought we're siblings or best friends and stuff (cause we don't really hold hands in front of people we know) so we would like to entertain them a bit :) And perhaps confuse them. Also, we like to be labeled 'best friend' so any "i love you" would sound more friend-ish and welcoming, rather than mushyyyyyy you feel me?

It's like, 3.30 in the morning, and I don't feel like sleeping just yet. But I loveee typing with this slight "lightness" in my head, cause I love reading it afterwards, like the next time I'm bored or something.
It's like, looking at pictures taken of you getting drunkkkk

Say what? Ba-zing-ga


Azlina ❤
don't know if y'all know, this is me and my one of the first friends in TP - Likha & Sue ❤
And this picture is taken when I was so darn new to TP (first few weeks of school, definitely)
& Harindra likes meeeeeeeeee haha
Nabby & Azlina ❤ we were so close back then. I lovvee them :)
We all wore skirts. Suzie, Siti, Nabby and Ain ❤
(To think of it, yeah, I think I've gained so much weight, pfft who cares, haha)

Goodnight, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite! xoxo

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who cares if no one reads my blog. I read what, cannot is it? people don't know how to tag what, cannot is it? ah whats wrong with meeee okay nak mandi byeee
Saturday, April 10, 2010 || 4:09 PM

School's timetable is not out yet, how retarded. Everyone is left with 3.1 and SIP in 3.2 and then they'll be out. For good. With a diploma. How lucky it is to be them. Serve me right for not studying hard or smart enough. Serve me right to have lost the focus and motivation. Hmmm =/ I guess I'm just unlucky, and I got to deal with it. Maybe ada hikmah di sebalik all these? Like, hmms my GPA won't be as horrible? I used to have 3.something, then it dropped a lot. Friends went all, "wth you didn't maintain that 3-point-something!" well how would I know, right? I'm not a psychic, and I'm a human after all. I make mistakes, and so I guess I have to live with it. Lesson learnt? God knows if I'mma lose my motivation again, ah damn it.

So anyway, I have 1 week of holidays left, and then it's school again. I'm somewhat excited, cause I want the upcoming semester to be over and done with. How advanced, right? HAHA IT HASN'T EVEN STARTED YET! But erm, I guess that's the spirit?

I'm going to have sushi later, with Harindra. Either at Ramen Ten Century Square, or Hei Sushi at Downtown East. Yeah, have to travel to the east cause Harindra has some things to do. I feel like wearing heels. Oh, and acne is pulling my confidence even lower. I shouldn't have started ____ tsk big mistake, huge huge hugeass mistake. Now I'm an ugly duckling. Let me make myself feel even worst.

I love pulling myself down, cause whenever I look at myself in the mirror, I'd just hate myself. Hahahaa
Just get back up when it knocks you down, xoxo

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I'm not being sweeeeetttt, but I'm being true. I'm sweet haha whatever
Friday, April 9, 2010 || 3:31 AM

Hey, I've changed my blogskin (duh...) and yes, I hope you like it as much as I do.
So anyway, I'm so hungry right now, but I'm too lazy to cook myself anything.

This is the official music video, but damn Youtube's being real strict. Click on it for full orgasm, hahah!
I'm ignoring the fact that this song does remind me of a friend, who has long disappeared in everyone's lifes, haha, erm what's the link? Simply because he told me he got addicted to this song because of me.

Thanks to Haikal, my bloco friend, for posting this song up on Facebook. Damn he always posts awesome songs!
Don't mind me, please. it's 4 in the morning after all.

So here's dedicating a song to my special person. Boyfriend or best friend, it doesn't matter, this song is for you Harindraaa! Thanks for alwaaaaays telling your friend Akmal about me, I bet he's bored of it already! But it's okay, at least you guys are not talking about other girls. So yes, thanks for alwaaaays telling him why you love me so much, why I'm so important in your life, why you've missed me so much ever since you've worked full-time, and that I'm your everything.
❤❤❤❤❤ 6❤ 7❤ 8❤ 9❤
You have no idea how special you are to me. Dear Harindra, you will never lose me, I will always be your best friend no matter what.

How do I get through one night without you
If I had to live without you
What kind of life would that be
Oh and I, I need you in my arms
Need you to hold
You're my world, my heart, my soul
If you ever leave
Baby, you would take away everything good in my life

Without you there'd be no sun in my sky
There would be no love in my life
There'd be no world left for me
And I, baby I don't know what I would do
I'd be lost if I lost you
If you ever leave
Baby, you would take away everything real in my life
And tell me now

How do I live without you
I want to know
How do I breathe without you
If you ever go
How do I ever, ever survive
How do I, how do I
Oh, how do I live

If you ever leave
Baby, you would take away everything
Need you with me
Baby, 'cause you know that you're everything good in my life
And tell me now

How do I live
Without you baby

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Thursday, April 8, 2010 || 11:20 PM

Eugene says:
Kindly (:

dream home. nak kahwin, abeh nak ader rumah cantikkk, abeh nak ni nak tu
|| 1:40 AM

These pictures make me soooo happy :]
I'm alive and kicking.
& I feel like kicking that pompuan gemok's saggy butt. Such an ass, hahahahah!

p/s fyeahrooms

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muchas gracias, merci beaucoup!
|| 12:45 AM

Thanks for
taking care of me
buying food & drinks for me even tho' you're tired, just cause y'know that I'm sick and weak
making me smile
the love
the many many months of laughters & joy
everything. friends, to boyfriend, to best friends... everything
being yourself, as always. <3


Wednesday, April 7, 2010 || 6:13 PM

where are you i miss you let's meet even though i'm not feeling alright

reblogged. http://misskoshka.tumblr.com!
|| 5:17 PM

But I want to meet the person who can prove to me that I can't.

I think I’ve met the person. Haha I was so Miss Independent last time, thinking that girls rule and boys drool (haha!) but y’know, it’s nice to know that there’s always that someone to take care of me whenever I’m sick, someone other than my mummy, of course. & that person is…

*drum roll*

my bestfriend Harindra! Yippedyyayyyy! He’s so awesome, aiya no need to find boyfriend already lah haha!

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jane, and i love to ride the elephantssss hahahahhaa
|| 12:37 AM

♥♥♥♥♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
what a wonderful world~

goodnight love!

goodnight uuuuuu!

sweet dreams!

sleep tight!

sleep tiight
my eyes berat already

and take care of urselffff cause imma mish eu shooo muchyyy

i love u!
so cute

i know! hahaha

mishiusomuchtooy baby

ur spelling FAIL


okay dah dah dah
(secret code) ♥ ♥

dah dah
(secret code)

love u!

bye bye baby girl!
i love you too!


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don't stop believing
|| 12:29 AM

Ok it's official.

I'm sick. I've been sneezing non-stop and my throat is so dry and, err, weird. I'm kind of shivering, and my eyes are so so so heavy and it's not cause I want to sleep or anything like that. I need my happy pills, if you know what I mean. If only On a happy, positive note, this Saturday is Sushi Day for me and my RS friends! I'm so excited.

Apitos tomorrow. I hope I'll be alright by then...

Now, goodnight.

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